


Twist

by ARMEN15



Category: Bron | Broen | The Bridge
Genre: F/M, Rebuilding a family Holiday in a cabin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:52:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14846114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARMEN15/pseuds/ARMEN15
Summary: A look after season four, with a twist that starts from ep 5. What if.... a dialogue between two lovely ladies turned in a different way? It is set part in the present and part in the recent past. Follow canon but a little AU.





	1. Chapter 1

Morning walks were Saga’s favourite moment of the day.  
She went out soon after daylight and walked along the beach.  
Some people said the place was always the same but Saga was a great observer and saw every little detail.  
The level of sea.  
The first flowers in bloom.  
The broken woods covered by the waves.  
The different birds.  
The dogs swimming in the water.  
She met new and repetitive faces and they exchanged just a short greeting.  
She didn’t want to talk.  
She needed to be alone and think.  
Free from her bigger guilt, free from her worst pain.  
She let Jennifer go, keeping only good memories of her sister .  
And she got rid of her mother’s hate that for years cursed her.  
No more.  
Saga Noren was free after a very long time.  
Being alone was never a problem for her, she had books, long working hours, sleep and in case of need sex.  
In that place she has noting of that kind.  
Except books, because she was on temporary leave and alone; in the nights she liked a lot to lie awake in bed and listen to the sea.  
She wanted each morning to come quickly so she could walk again on the beach.  
Her brain slowly followed the rhythm of her steps and of the eternal tide.  
She started to think a little slower, to react with a second of retard, to notice different things.  
So after a week she felt more positive.  
She sat aside one of her greatest fears and she could start working on another one.  
And she knew well what next to face.  
A name.  
His name.


	2. Chapter 2

PAST

AS USUAL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

Lilian put the flowers on Hans’ grave and was ready to leave; Saga was processing her words.  
You have Henrik....take care of what you have.  
She knew how much he wanted her and she was still unsure about her own feelings, refusing to dissect what they share like she would do with a case.  
It was difficult to admit to herself that the definition of sex with no strings attached was now false.  
If only for the string growing inside her.  
“I'm pregnant. It was unplanned.”  
She blurted out her secret.  
Lilian was visibly shocked, happiness and then concern passed over her face.  
“It’s Henrik’s, isn’t it?”  
“Yes.”  
“Does he know?”  
Saga nodded.  
“Is he happy?”  
“Yes.”  
“And you?”  
“I don't want it.”  
“Have you talked with him?”  
“I offered Henrik full custody after the birth, he can raise it on his own, alone. And we can still have sex sometimes.”  
“Oh, Saga.”  
Lilian sat again on the bench. Not for the first time, she wished Hans was there; he would find the right words to make Saga understand the awful situation. Hans was able to read her more than anyone else, more than Henrik could in that moment, Lilian feared.  
“And did Henrik agree?”  
“He wants the child.”  
“He lost two daughters before, sure he will. Henrik was in hell when his family disappeared, I was already working with him. Since then he was another man, a hollow man, until he met you.”  
“So I did the offer. “  
“But Saga, do you think it is the proper way to deal with your pregnancy?”  
“I do not know any more. I don’t want to live with a child and I want to live with Henrik. But he wants the child.”  
Lilian put a hand on Saga's; the skin was cold and she was trembling.  
“You have to discuss carefully with him, it is too important, promise me you'll do it. No impulsive action.”  
“Ok.”  
“It could be your last chance, think about it, you re no more in your twenties.”  
The trembling increased.  
“Years ago I was in a relationship with a man and he did not want children. He forced me to choose between him and our baby so I aborted. We parted a few months after and I still regret my choice. With Hans I was too old.”  
“You'd be a good mother. Not like me, I'm not good in interaction with people.”  
“You have Henrik to help you. Go home and talk with him, things will sort out."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 

Anne Larsen, owner of the local grocery shop, greeted Saga when she entered for her daily purchases.  
Since the first time, when Saga collected the keys of the cottage, Anne explained that Lilian had called her to inform a friend was using her place, so whatever Saga needed Anne and her family, who had served the cottage for a long time, would be of help.  
Saga went straight to the point.  
“I have a problem with a water leak In the kitchen, I have to close pipes every time. I’ll solve it by myself but I don’t have tools. Is there a plumber around?”  
“Always hard to get Gustafson. He’s so busy and never hire a helper. Look, my brother can come and see during his round of deliveries, ok?”  
“Can he solve it?”  
“Alex can try and if he fails I’ll call Gustafson myself and insist.”  
“He can enter from the deck if I’m out.”  
Later, returning from a walk on the beach, she saw a man walking along the path to the cottage.  
“Alex Larsen,” he said when they shake hands; his was strong and direct.  
“Anne told me about the leak.”  
“I’ll show you.”  
Alex opened his bag of tools and leaned on the kitchen floor, his head under the sink.  
The leak was in the plastic tube of the dishwasher, he informed saga he could get a new one come tomorrow from the spare parts shop.  
She intended to read one of the new books she bought after leaving hospital but he was a talkative man and wanted to explain what he was doing.  
“I’ll tell Lilian to change this dishwasher soon, look at here.”  
He let saga take his place and she saw rust and dirt on the back of the appliance.  
“I’m afraid Lilian lacked maintenance after Hans died. I barely saw her around since then.”  
“She was very distressed, Hans was a special man. They were married for a short time and she still grieves him.”  
“Do you know Hans? I met him twice only, I saw how much they loved each other.”  
“He was my boss at work. And my friend.”  
“Oh sorry. You see, I understand Lilian a lot. I lost my wife four years ago, a drunken driver. So I left the town and returned here where I grew up; my two boys are grown up, no need of me.”  
Alex put tools back in the bag.  
“And are you married? Children?”  
Saga was accepting the conversation, it was flowing freely and Alex questions seemed normal, apart that difficult question.  
The truth was she was not married nor had children; the truth was also she was involved with a man with a teen daughter.  
She was there to think about her life and she stitch to that idea.  
“I’m taking some time off from my work.”  
Alex did not pressed further the family theme and she was glad.  
“Great choice. This place is good for thinking, I do the same, when my sis give me time off I go to the sea. Ok, I’m finished for now, see you tomorrow.”

 

PAST

Lilian sent every body home, except John and Barbara.  
Henrik was heading for the stairs and Saga followed, calling his name to make him turn in the corridor.  
“We have to talk.”  
“Why?”  
Her telephone rang before she could answer and Saga took it from her pockets; seeing the caller, she dismissed Henrik and returned at her desk.  
“You go, I’ll follow when I'm finished.”  
The call was longer than she imagined and the peugeot has already left the police parking when she went there.  
She arrived at his place and the house was dark, she entered, wondering if something was going wrong.  
Henrik was leaning on the kitchen closet in front of the window, his head low; he heard her but remained still.  
“Are you ok?” She asked  
“No.”  
“Why?”  
"Because you’re going tell me something bad about the child and I do not want to listen."  
“I told you we need to talk.”  
"You changed your mind, haven't you? You want to get rid of it again ."  
"I do not know what to do. Because if I abort I can be with you and I want you. I think I m in love with you."  
"You think you love me and you want to kill our child?"  
“I thought you wanted us to be together.”  
“Together in three, that's what I hope now.”  
“I cannot live with a child.”  
“Why? What is so terrible? You offered me to raise it on my own..you think you'll really never see it? Neither a photo on my phone? The baby seat in my car? Why can’t you see it? Why?” His voice was raising, his left hand contracting nervously.  
“You cannot ask me that.”  
“I need to know. If I don’t know, how can I understand you?”  
Saga started trembling, she had to be alone to reflect, if she listened to Henrik logic she’d be lost or she’d loose him, and she could not decide what would be worst.  
He did not understand how scared to be a mother she was, how bad Marie Louise had treated her and Jennifer. The beating with the belt, the rotten food, the cold floor to sleep on when Jennifer peed in the bed.  
Her mother was a monster, she was the product of a monster, and her child would have the same genes.  
She had to leave, soon, or she'd broke in front of Henrik.  
Saga grabbed the knob and went out leaving the door open, Henrik followed; she was faster in locking herself the car before he grabbed the handle.  
The engine roared and he tried to follow the sportive car.  
Stupid idea to run after a Porsche, she thought and before she turned the corner she saw from the rearwiew mirror Henrik on his knees in the middle of the narrow street.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex Larsen repaired the leak and tried to better fix the dishwasher, chatting with Saga from under the sink all the time.  
When he cut his wrist with a sharp piece of metal framed between the wall and the oven Saga got the first aid kit from the bathroom.  
Helping him, she noticed Alex hands were large and calloused, a worker's hands, not soft like Henrik's. She find herself making comparisons between them, the height, the weight, the way they moved around.  
Like seeing a man around her was awakening Henrik’s memories; ten days without him, a period long and short at the same time.  
Alex thanked her and she didn’t denied him a coffee after she finished dressing his wound.  
When he left, the cottage seemed smaller, his way of talking was friendly and his smile warm.  
Two days after Saga shopped again at Larsen’s, Anne was busy and Alex sat at the case.  
“How's the dishwasher?” He asked while she was paying her purchases.  
“It's ok, I used yesterday and no leaks.”  
“Good. You tried it full load?”  
“It's just me, I put into few dishes I had.”  
“Ok, try once full load, add clean ones but try.”  
“I’ll do it.”  
“I want to reciprocate your coffee. Are you still around in half an hour? We can go out and have a coffee together.”  
Saga was confused, a coffee? Nothing else?  
How many time has passed since somebody offered her to go out only to drink something?  
Henrik and his restaurant invitation, two years before?  
“It is just a coffee, ok? You don’t want sex, do you?”  
Alex jaw fell in total amazement, his intention was simply to spend a few minutes talking with a nice woman.  
“I’d never dare….I don’t…”  
She saw how hurt he was.  
“Ok, it’s all right, you see… I...”  
He stopped her.  
“Look, I’m not the kind of man who jump on a woman after only five minutes.”  
“I’d like a coffee. I'm sure. Just a coffee.”  
Alex visibly relaxed.  
“Half an hour at Torsen? It is in front of the post office, just a short walk from here.”  
When they sat at a small table with a steaming cup Alex insisted Saga took a slice of cake with her coffee.  
“It’s for your perfect wrist dressing.”  
“First aid police training.”  
“How long have you been police?”  
“Around twenty years.”  
“A very long time. Are you going to return?”  
“I don’t know. I have to process lots of things.”  
“Lilian often said she wanted to give up, in the end she never did it.”  
“Lilian is an excellent policeman.”  
“I bet you are too.”  
“I was efficient.”  
“So why you’re insecure now?”  
“I' ll find out before leaving this place.”  
“This is not a big city like you re used to.”  
“No, but it is good, did you ever lived in a big city?”  
“Odense, not so great, sure bigger than here. I have friends there, sometimes I go and visit.”  
“You resemble an friend of mine, he used to talk a lot like you.”

 

(PAST)

Henrik had been shot. A bullet in his leg when he found the hanged woman.  
Jonas was explaining the details, Saga listening in silence.  
Something inside her wanted to scream, her brain insisted to keep it hidden. Every time it was becoming harder and harder to control emotions related to Henrik.  
He went there alone because she was not with him. She was afraid to be near him, afraid he'd made change her mind.  
And he had been shot.  
And if not simply a leg? Chest? Stomach? head?  
If he bled to death alone?  
Brain frozen , legs trembling, stomach clenched. All kept hidden.  
Saga put a hand on her belly, irrational idea the embryo could know.  
“How is he?”  
She asked Jonas  
“Go and see him.”  
“I have to work." Was her silly answer. Jonas forehead furrowed.  
“As you wish.”  
She wanted to go and see with her eyes Henrik was really well, to hear his voice calling her name.  
Because he was her only light and it could be darkness again, like after jennifer, only black around her.  
Suddenly all the things about him she was storing in a part of her brain, to process, later, were not important if he was not with her.  
Dangerous thoughts.  
She stubbornly turned to the case and later took off the girls file. There was something strange, a missing detail she couldn’t fully locate but she was sure would be very important to find the truth. In the afternoon Linn called her to return to Malmo immediately, a young boy from the Skane village had to be questioned. The Porsche run faster than usual on the bridge.


	5. Chapter 5

(PAST) 

Henrik was thanking Saga, because she never gave up the desperate search; his eyes were gleaming and in the hospital corridor, with smells of disinfectant and cheap food, he was happy like in a garden of roses.   
Astrid was just behind a thin wall, safe after the hell she went through.   
He was anxious to return to her, not to miss a moment to look at his daughter and hold her hand, to be sure she was there, alive, with him, no more a ghost in his mind.  
Saga had to talk, she had to explain him her intentions: it was not possible to continue with the agreement they had made.   
She found his girls so she could be freed from the pact, she had spent nights alone in a small bed at the police station thinking about what to do, how to use the clues she had and she had finally succeeded.  
She half listened his words, she felt in her mouth what she had to say,   
Henrik was leaving, to return to Astrid, when she stopped him.  
“We really have to talk this time.”  
“About what?”  
“I cannot keep the child, I’ve thought a lot about it and I decided to abort. You have Astrid now, you don't need this one.”  
“Saga, please.”  
“No! I did everything to find the truth about your daughters so you can be again a father. I’ll never be a good mother, I don’t want to be like mine was.”   
“You’ll never be like her, she was crazy and she made you believe you were the disturbed one.”  
“How can you say so?”  
“I know you, you suffered so much and you think you cannot deserve a family.”  
“I want you, I want to be with you and this is the only way it can be. I’ll do it tomorrow morning.”  
Henrik bowed his head. He knew how obstinate she could be and this time she was determinate.   
Astrid was only a few meters from him, but how much he hoped to hold a newborn again, to fell that pure joy to see him or her grow.   
He knew it was a foolish idea the pact they had sealed, and the hope she‘d change her mind, that she’d accept to see their child, was the only one he clung to.  
The only thing that kept him away from the drugs hidden in his kitchen.  
The practical part of the offering was completely impossible and he knew well, but until Astrid was back Henrik let himself dream that all would end well.  
It was not meant to be. The pure happiness to have his daughter back had dark clouds leaning over the horizon.  
The cold shower of reality.  
The voice at the back of his mind returned in full force.  
She’ll never give you a child, stupid fool, you bathed in vain in an illusion.   
Illusion, now over.   
Astrid was real, Saga was real.  
And Henrik could be damned, but he needed Saga, really needed her, since the first time they met.   
Whatever she could do, Henrik was bound to her in a way he could not refuse.   
He was defeated.  
“Tomorrow morning?”  
“Yes”

 

(PRESENT) 

 

Coffee at Thorsen’s became routine when Saga bought groceries and Alex was around. Small talks and small cakes. They found a common interest in sportive car: Alex owned an old Saab he had found and restored with infinite care and was in talks to buy a vintage BMW.  
Saga told him how possessive of her car she was. She took him for a short ride on the costal route but she did the driving; she was clear about it.   
“Nobody never drove it, except me. Neither Henrik.”  
“Henrik?”  
“My partner.”  
Alex was sudden curious; he’d bet a woman like Saga couldn’t be alone.   
“Ah, so you’re involved with somebody?”   
“It’s complicated.”  
“I have time. Do you are in a relationship with him or not?”   
Saga went for the short way.  
“He wants me to live with him but he has a teen daughter and I’m not good at sharing spaces and child caring.”  
“Are you running from him?”   
“Not running, thinking. He’s my colleague, too, and we were just off a very bad case.”  
“You know you cannot hide forever? I tried and I assure you it won’t work.”   
“He know where I am.”   
“Where’s he now?”   
“At his parents house near…”  
“Quite close, nearly two hours drive.” 

 

In the evenings Saga liked to read in front of the glowing fire. She was well furnished with her own books and she found some others in Swedish, sure Hans’. Novels and a few essays in sociology and religion, an aspect she was not aware of, regarding her late mentor. She started reading with curiosity and was soon fascinated by the complex references to philosophy and human behaviour.   
She felt the desire to study more and the idea to attend university was captivating.   
Maybe for a year or two, time to think and explore new things,   
The biography of Immanuel Kant had required two long evenings to be completed and Saga rummaged in the higher shelf looking for something less difficult. There was a collection of smaller books, all poetry, from a Swedish publishing house, quite old and worn out.   
The last two of the row were different and Saga took them out: brand new, in English and Danish, selected poems of W. B. Yeats and Robert Browning. She opened the second and saw Hans handwriting, a dedication to Lilian.  
“To my wife. My love and my life are nothing without you. “ The date was their wedding day.   
She remembered when Hans told about his decision to marry.  
Saga congratulated briefly but he kept on talking about Lilian and the joy to have another chance of happiness. If he was here she could talk with him about Henrik and what they were going through.   
A dried crimson rose had let its colour pass on the following pages   
Saga looked at the small flower, probably belonging to the cottage garden, where bare bushes were waiting for flowering.   
Afraid to dissolve the rose, she read a few poems, written by the author for his poetess wife.   
The same profession, like Hans and Lilian, like herself and Henrik   
Could it be easier to understand each other sharing the same job?   
Was Henrik so caring and supportive because he exactly knew how she was going through every day?   
In the past a few men bluntly told her they didn’t like her job, contested her schedules, were intolerant for her commitment to the force. At first she didn’t care, now with time to reflect all those signs became a clear pattern.   
Henrik knew the importance of being a detective for her.   
She had to ask him if his future would be still in police and to tell him her decisions.  
When she’d decide what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

(PAST) 

Saga felt on her and Henrik the looks of the four woman in the waiting room on the ground floor when they sat on two adjacent chairs.  
She was nervous, she did not wanted to fill the application form and handed it to Henrik who completed it, his hand trembling. The nurse at the reception desk looked at them in a strange way.  
The four women stopped chatting and a strange silence followed, until Henrik phone rang and he left the room, giving Saga a sign he’d be back.  
Saga kept her face low, she already missed his presence; they had not talked since leaving the house, he simply stated in a serious tone that he’d go with her in his car.  
She know it was difficult for him, she looked at him and he seemed ten years older, more wrinkles on his forehead, because of Astrid, of their relationship, of their future.  
“Is he the father?”  
The stylish dressed woman on her left asked Saga.  
“Yes.”  
“Strange. Men here are indeed a rarity. Few have the guts to come here and support.”  
The women seemed relieved Henrik was no more around.  
“Mine does not know I’m here. I said three kids were ok, four too much.”  
Said a fat woman with a long hand knitted cardigan.  
Is he the father?  
“It was a brief story, my twins are 15 and we do not want a toddler around.”  
The stylish woman added.  
Is he the father?  
“We’ll leave for Canada in two weeks, new works. A baby now is impossible, but he did not want to come here.”  
A young woman with a long tress.  
Is he …. come here and support.  
“I’m not going to fuck up my future at university for a stupid boy who got expired condoms.”  
The typical late teen girl dressed in whitewashed jeans and t shirt.  
Few have the guts…  
Henrik had. His pain and his anguish, and he had come anyway.  
Saga’s hands grabbed the arms of the chair, knuckles white for the effort; her head was spinning and she needed fresh air.  
She left the waiting room opening the door with violence, in the corridor she looked around but Henrik was not in sight.  
She called his name and the nurse moved from her place.  
“Do you need something?”  
“Where’s my partner?”  
“I think outside, he was talking on the phone.”  
Saga run out of the building and spotted Henrik sat on a bench nearby.  
“Henrik” she shouted  
He ended abruptly the conversation and stood up, moving toward her.  
“What?”  
“Take me home! Now!”  
“You have already….?”  
His face was pale and his voice hoarse.  
“No, I can't now, I want to go home!”  
She was so distressed henrik feared another panic attack, her frame was shaking and henrik offered an arm for support to reach the car.  
He drove in silence, afraid to ask what made her escape from the hospital.  
Astrid was to return home, unaware of everything, so he did not know what could happen.  
It was hard enough to go with Saga, to accept her decision, but he felt he could not let her there alone.  
Il would be all over in the space of a few hours, he had set his mind on it, so why now to start all over again?  
She spoke only after they had crossed the bridge,  
“The women said men had no guts to be there.”  
“Which women?”  
“Those in the waiting room. When you left.”  
“And you went away because o f that?”  
“I realised you were there to support me.”  
“Yes.”  
“And that I had a brave man.”  
“Saga, I couldn’t leave you alone today.”  
“I want to think about what to do.”  
“You’ve already signed the papers.”  
“I have nine weeks still. I can decide later.”  
“And Astrid, if she should discover?”  
“You didn’t tell her, did you? “  
“No, no! She’d be too upset. Anyway you cannot live at the office any more. If you want to use my bedroom I can sleep on the couch.”  
“Ok, but you don't have to give up to your bed.”  
The way she accepted the offer made Henrik sad, she sure was completely alone and desperate to return to live with him so easily; on the other side, she did not aborted, could he dare hope she'd changed her mind?

(PRESENT)

Henrik left his car near her Porsche in the parking lot, then followed the path leading to the beach cottages. Lilian told him she had choose the most secluded house of the lot, she wanted to be isolated when she took a break from work; it was a good place to recharge batteries, as she put on, the reason she offered Saga to use it.  
The view was stunning, the sea without boundaries.  
Saga was unaware of his visit, he had left his parents' house on impulse in the afternoon, Astrid and his mother were going to the village, his father was asleep on his armchair in the living room and he felt they all were safe.  
He had to see Saga, after three weeks is was becoming too difficult to be apart.  
They texted every day, did some calls, he needed more.  
Lilian house was in sight, a hundred steps from him; Henrik walked on sand and grass, refusing the stones of the path, he liked to feel something soft under his foot, not caring to get sand in his shoes.  
At first impression the cottage was small, two window on the side, a chair on the deck facing the sea.  
Henrik called Saga name with no answer; the deck window was opened and he entered; the living area was deserted. An partially ajar door gave way to a cozy bedroom, empty.  
He went outside and saw a figure walking on the beach, the long coat moving with the breeze. He took off his shoes and socks and went down the few steps; Saga saw him and they met halfway.  
She seemed thinner, her skin dry for the wind and the cold.  
“How are you?”  
“Better. And you? Astrid?”  
“She's spoiled by my parents. I'm surviving, the tolls of last weeks is still hard on me.”  
“Walk with me.”  
“Ok, but slowly, my leg still hurts.”  
They walked past the cottage to a small pier with four boats still covered at the beginning of march.  
“I sit here and look at the sea. I thought to go away, somewhere far from here, but this place is beautiful and I like it.”  
“I'm happy you remained around.”  
“I need a place to think.”  
“About what?”  
“About my past. Mother. Jennifer. I throw my badge into the sea from the bridge, I’m free from police now.”  
She was surprising calm, Henrik’d never imagine her to leave police for good, he decided to play along.  
“And what are you going to do?”  
“I do not know. I have to make plans.”  
Henrik wanted to ask about that, but respected her timing.  
“I’ve thought a lot, too. I’ll return to the meetings and see if I need more help, like Astrid sure does.”  
“In my plans I see you.”  
Henrik felt his heart beat faster, it was more than he dreamed to receive so soon.  
“I hope you'll return to live with us.”  
“Do you want me back?”  
“Yes, I admit part of my coming here was to ask you.”  
“Can you stay for a little while?”  
“Astrid is in safe hands, I'm here for you.”  
“It's quite dark, let's get inside.”  
After dinner, they talked a little on the deck, looking at the distant lights of the ships.  
Henrik made no move to leave the cottage for the incoming night; when the cold become too strong they went inside and sat near the fire. It was enough to be together.  
When Henrik started dozing off, Saga suggested to move to the bedroom to sleep. They lied under just the duvet, some clothes still on, and woke up very late next morning.  
The day light saw them spooning, Henrik's arm over her waist.  
Saga woke up first, the heat from his body was pleasant an she felt in peace after a very long time.  
She stirred and felt Henrik facial hairs on her neck.  
”Are you awake?” He asked.  
“Yes and hungry.”  
He smiled. “Breakfast is coming, just let me get a shower.”  
They spent the day outside, walking along the beach, enjoying each other presence.  
Neither of them saw Alex stopping along the road and looking at them from his car.


	7. Chapter 7

As usual, no copyright infringements. all rights belong to authors and producers.  
(PAST) 

Henrik took Astrid home in an emotional turmoil.  
Happiness, fear, confusion, hope, all mixed up.  
His Astrid was with him but he’d never see Anna again.  
The night before he tried to spend all his tears, so that Astrid would not see him so distressed.  
Saga heard him sobbing and knocked at the bathroom door where he was hiding.  
It was not locked so she entered and saw Henrik on the floor, curled up like a ball, his head between his knees, swinging slowly.  
She never imagined to see him in such a state, his desperation too painful to watch; she called his name, he did not reacted.  
She knelt near him, touched his shoulder and finally he lift his head, face stained with tears, eyes puffy and red.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Anna .. my little Anna She’s gone. All my fault. Mine.”  
“It’s Frank’s, not yours.”  
“I let her down.”  
“You have Astrid now.”  
“I' m happy and sad at the same time.”  
“It’s a normal reaction.”  
Saga sat beside Henrik on the cold tiles, not considering the discomfort, their legs barely touching in the small space they were allowed. She was glad he had almost stopped crying.  
“I need Astrid here.”  
“Tomorrow.” She wanted to rectify in “today” but stopped, cutting her tongue.  
“And I need you, too. And I don't know how to do things right.”  
“You simply have to try.”  
“I'm trying …. to understand you and it isn’t easy. At the hospital this morning I was ready to give up my dream. But now I don't know if I can do it again. If I want to do it again.”  
Henrik 's hand slowly moved from his knees to search Saga’s arm. He gently touched her and she did not refused.  
“I told you I will reflect on it.”  
“I’ll concentrate on Astrid now. But promise me you'll think a lot about it, I’ll do everything to make you stay.”  
“You want me to stay for the child only.”  
“I want you, Saga, forgive me, I cant help myself. I did not planned to get you pregnant, it was never my intention.”  
“At first I thought you wanted to replace Astrid and Anna with another baby.”  
He had to admit, that thought had crossed his mind.  
“The group said to move on focusing on something new and I imagined a brand new baby was enough.But I was wrong, I’ll never forget my girls, nor Alice. They are a part of my life.” 

 

(PRESENT) 

In the afternoon, back from the walk , Henrik called twice his mother and Astrid giving and receiving reassurance all was ok.  
“When are you going to return?”  
“Tomorrow? I hope you’ll come with me and meet my parents. It's a two hours drive, if you should feel nervous you can get back here.”  
“I am already nervous at the idea to meet your parents..”  
“There is no need. Astrid wants to see you and my mother knows everything about us.”  
“Everything?”  
Saga’s expression become puzzled. Henrik nodded.  
“Yes. Mostly that I'm so proud of you, for what you did for me. I explained her again how special you are.”  
Saga went out on the deck and looked at the horizon. Henrik let her alone, he knew her well enough never to force Saga on something. It was an important decision for both and her wanted her to decide in complete freedom. When she turned her eyes told him the answer before she spoke.  
“I’ll come with you, my time here is over.”  
Henrik had arrived with a bag of groceries, his intention to cook for her a few meals and store them, should she let him stay or not.  
For their last dinner there he went to the tiny kitchen with a lovely sea view window over the sink.  
Saga leaned on the peninsula behind him and observed his work.  
Pasta with vegetable sauce, pork chops and potatoes, his hands fast in cutting ingredients to pieces, three pan on the fires, concentrations and the usual tasty result.  
They ate on the peninsula on two high chairs; under the strong lights above them Henrik’s line on the forehead were deeper.  
“How it was at your parents?”  
“Happy and painful at the same time. Dad cried when he saw Astrid, he's so fragile now, I fear another stroke so emotional he was.”  
Saga knew his father’s health had a sudden decline after Henrik family disappeared. His mother tried to be strong for both but a few months later his father had the stroke that left him mostly in a wheelchair.  
Henrik felt responsible because his father had already lost his grinding machine production company when Henrik was in his late teens and the hopes to keep it in the family had vanished.  
Then Henrik met Alice and the birth of the girls was a chance of happiness for Klaus Sabroe, too soon to be destroyed.  
Henrik was an only child and his daughters were the only hope for a future.  
Astrid was shocked when she see her grandparents, Margarethe had white hair and a faces full of wrinkles, looking much older than her seventies.  
Henrik automatically got up to clean the table.  
“Let me do it.” Saga offered; she had to keep herself busy, his presence evoked too many memories.  
Henrik sat on the couch, soon the dishwasher was on and Saga turned around, unsure about what to do.  
The distance between the kitchen and the couch seemed infinite.  
He called her name.  
“Come here.”  
She hesitated for a brief moment, then crossed the living area and stood in front of him.  
He extended his hand, hoping she'd accept the offer. Her fingers were warm and Saga sat near him.  
It was a small couch, their legs were touching and Henrik wanted to keep the hand connection.  
The mood had changed and he knew he had to be the first to talk.  
“I missed you.”  
She briefly squeezed his fingers.  
Her silence was unusual, in the past she'd added some remarks or rolled her eyes on him like it was a taboo to discuss about feelings.  
He turned his head and his free hand went up to her face,  
He only wanted to touch her a little and forget what they endured during the last weeks, she didn’t retract when his fingers made a soft contact with her skin.  
“I still need you. Once I told Kevin I needed you more than you needed me. But it isn’t true, is it?”  
“No, it isn't.”  
Saga freed her hand and moved it up his arm, until she could follow the contours of his chin.  
Henrik leaned closer, they could feel each other breath on their faces.  
Saga wondered why he was so restrained, then she understood: he was giving her the choice, never he'd force himself on her against her will.  
Saga closed the distance between them and kissed him, softly at first, then with more intensity, until Henrik opened his mouth and asked permission with his tongue.  
She melted into him, feeing her heart beat faster, her body recognizing him.  
They parted to breathe and Saga leaned her head on his shoulder.  
“I love you,” Henrik whispered, “and I want you. For me tonight is not sex. I want to make love to you.”  
“I never made love before.”  
“I hope you’ll not be disappointed.”  
Henrik got up and prompted her to do the same. In the bedroom, they undressed and met under the covers, a bedside lamp as the only source of light.  
No frantic coupling, no hurry, the night was their for the taking.  
To make love, Henrik had to break her last rule, the one still valid after two years together.  
He searched for her hand under the sheet, kissed her palm and the inside wrist.  
Her pulse was racing, her eyes half closed.  
“I need to touch you for real” he whispered, “if you let me.”  
“I’ve nothing you haven't already seen.”  
“Touch is the most powerful of senses. You do on me to feel comfortable, I’ll mirror you.”  
Saga tentatively started on his forearm, going higher, his shoulder, around the neck, then down, on his chest; Henrik found her breasts, lingered on them, delicate touches, feeling her nipples hardening.  
He'd feasted on her soft mounds for a longer time but Saga went up again, touching his face.  
Henrik fingers were like butterflies on her cheeks, where skin was soft like a peach.  
Saga eyes were closed while Henrik looked at her like a precious prize. Her other hand touched him so intimately he startled at the first contact.  
Having her fingers around his manhood made Henrik soon hard and the reciprocated, sliding his fingers into her, feeling how he was ready for him.  
He prompted her to lie on her back and moved over her, so he could be inside, gently, caressing her.  
Like a lover does, like a loved one deserves.


	8. Chapter 8

PAST 

As usual, no copyright infringement, all rights belongs to authors and producers. 

Astrid didn’t recognize her house, or so it seemed at first. She sat on Anna’s former bed, holding a small stuffed toy, hers or Anna's Henrik couldn’t remember.  
When she explained him how Anna died he felt his heart break, trying at the same time to hide from Astrid how it was terrible for him to know the truth.  
He had to be strong, for her, for himself, for Saga  
Saga, who was back from work in a few hours, whose role he had to conceal.   
Astrid started pacing the house looking at every item, like she was thinking to accept it or not.  
Henrik checked, no visible sign of Saga’s presence there, the scattered books could be his; Astrid avoided his bedroom with the bed made for two people.   
Then Astrid headed for the bathroom and Henrik cursed himself: there were her toiletries there, toothbrush, face cream, pink antiperspirant, a female eau de toilette somebody gave her years ago and was quite untouched. Astrid would do the maths and sure understand there was a woman in his life. Too difficult to explain, too soon.   
He waited for Astrid outside the door and prepared an explanation.   
“We have a guest, Saga lives temporary here, she's looking for a new apartment.”  
“I saw female things in the bathroom. I thought you had a woman.”   
“Saga and me work together and I offered her a place to stay.”  
“Where does she sleep? Do I share my room with her?”  
“She shares mine.”  
“Ok. “  
Astrid seemed calm and mildly curious about the whole Saga topic and he felt relieved.   
Saga arrived for dinner, she kept to herself a lot, but was more friendly with Astrid than Henrik imagined; the atmosphere was tense between father and daughter instead.   
Astrid wanted to speak in Swedish only and Henrik was clearly disappointed. Astrid asked how Saga found her; she was clever and attentive, visibly happy to speak with a woman. Henrik wondered if she was considering him like another Franck, a dangerous male.  
After dinner he offered Astrid to watch tv together but she retired early with her drawing book, leaving henrik in the middle of the sitting room with the remote in hand.  
Saga read delusion on his face.  
“Give her time.”  
“It is difficult...”  
“it’s her fist day here after eight years, everybody would be lost.”  
Saga moved from the kitchen to the couch and opened her laptop.   
“It's my fault ..I've wasted so much time.”  
“You searched her for years.” “  
“I almost gave up after you went on trial; I needed you for my search.”   
“I've found her to make you a father again.”  
“You said you can’t leave in a house with a child. So you choose my happiness against yours. I wish it was not a necessary sacrifice.”   
“You can teach me how to live as a family.”  
“Are you serious?”   
“I'm trying to figure out things in a different way.”  
Henrik sat near her.  
“You know how important it is for me, don't you?”  
“I know.”   
“There’s something that worries me,”  
Henrik had noticed Astrid’s book, the dark images drawn on it; he was afraid she had suffered a deeper trauma that at first impression and Saga agreed..  
“She’ll need a therapist, and maybe you, too.”   
“It’s that man, I don’t know what he did to her. Did he brainwashed her? Drugged her?”  
“Maybe the first, I don’t think he used drugs.”  
The reference made Henrik remember something important.   
He got up from the couch and went to the kitchen drawers, opening the lowest and taking off the pills. She saw the plastic bag and her eyes went wide.  
Henrik saw concern in her face and was fast to explain.  
“I haven’t take them I swear. The night Ida and Julia disappeared I bought the pills but when you retuned to stay I hide them.”  
“You’d take them if I hadn’t stayed?”   
She deserved the plain truth.   
“Yes.”

___________-

Saga packed her things and put the trolley in the car, Henrik showed her on google map their destination.   
They stopped at Larsen to give anne the spare keys . the supermrket was quite full and they had to wait before Anne had time to talk.   
“I‘ve closed the house and turned off lights.” Saga said handing her the keys.   
“Thanks Saga, alex will check once a week as usual.”  
Anna pointed at Henrik who was standing beside Saga  
“You’re not alone.”  
“My partner came to see me.”  
“Nice idea, do you liked the place? Anna and Henrik shook hands.   
“It is beautiful, I wish we could stay longer, but my daughter needs me.”   
“Oh, Alex, Saga is leaving.” She said when her brother went out of the meat fridge.  
“Saga, really? So soon?”   
“Me and Henrik are going to his parents.”   
“I see.”  
Alex studied Henrik from head to toe, seeing how close he standing near Saga, their shoulders barely touching. “Well, have a lovely trip both.”  
“Thanks.” Saga replied and turned to leave.   
Alex stayed still for a few seconds, then called her back  
In a lower voice, not to draw Anne or Henrik attention, he approved.  
“He’s good. Don’t let him run away, promise? Or I’ll have to ask you for another coffer.”   
“I promise, Alex, you’re a friend.”   
Outside, Henrik prompted Saga to go to a nearby gift shop to buy a painting for Astrid he had eyed the day before.   
The way Alex looked at saga was friendly, but with a hint of attraction that made Henrik’s skin tickle. Alex seemed a good man, sensitive and caring. Saga was still a beautiful woman, the weeks spent relaxing had soothed her features and the physical exercise had improved her body. He had touched Saga in bed and felt strong muscles under her skin.   
With a little make up and feminine clothes he was sure she could made men turn.   
Henrik decided he could test the waters a little about her appearance, if only she wanted to try some changes, because he was happy just the way she was.   
“Anne and Alex were sad you left.”  
“We became friends those weeks. Alex likes vintage cars. We did the coastal route, I drove.”  
“I imagined.”  
“It feels good to have friends.”  
“I hope you’ll have more friends in the future.!  
“Alex knows you’re more than a friend.”  
Henrik looked at Saga. Was she reading in his mind the insecurity love often brings?


	9. Chapter 9

(PAST) 

Henrik opened his eyes after the second shot, fearing the worst, fighting to free himself, cutting his wrists, blood from his skin, because he only wanted to attack Kevin bare handed. No matter if Kevin'd shot him dead, because without Astrid he was already dead, he could not bear to loose his daughter again.  
And he saw Kevin lying on the floor, motionless, his head a pool of blood and cerebral material.  
Astrid was visibly shaking, she tried to shout but the tape on her face turned her cries in a silent plea.  
She was looking at something behind him so Henrik turned and saw Saga, gun still in hand, her face pale, her body tense in perfect shooting position.  
She was looking at him with determination, she never broke eye contact with Henrik while she put away the gun and freed him.  
He wanted to go to his daughter, to see the extent of her wound; she was trying to get free herself, a good sign. His legs could not support him and he crawled to Astrid’s chair.  
He took off the tape gently from her face.  
“She shoot dad, she killed him.”  
“Yes, Astrid.”  
Saga helped him to stand up then started freeing Astrid legs; the girl lamented for the strong pain.  
“I know, be still.” Henrik tried to soothe his daughter caressing her face.  
“Ambulance is coming, I called Lilian …”  
Saga cut the last rope then suddenly stopped and fell on her knees, a hand on her abdomen, grimacing for a sudden pain.  
Henrik went to her.  
“Did he shoot you?”  
He was sure only a gun had fired, but had his brain made a trick on him?  
“No, it is not a bullet. Cramps. The baby.”  
Cold fear on Henrik again. the way her face contorted she was really distressed.  
“Lie down, stay calm, we'll go hospital soon.”  
He helped her to reach the couch and was going to put a pillow under her head w when Saga grabbed his arm.  
“It hurts.”  
“You need a doctor. Stay still.”  
Henrik lift his head hoping to hear the sound of the ambulance, but it was the sound of approaching steps only.  
Lilian entered the house and saw a dead body and three people alive and suffering.  
“My God.” She whispered  
“Stay with Saga, she is not well.”  
Henrik asked, offering Lilian his spot while he moved back to Astrid.  
“Your head bleads.”  
”It's nothing, Lilian. I'm fine, Astrid was shot in the leg and Saga ... the baby..”  
Lilian saw sweat on Saga forehead and noticed the way she crossed hands on her belly like to protect what was inside.  
The ambulance parked in front of the house, a doctor and two paramedics entered, Astrid immediately was put an a stretcher and pushed outside; the doctor asked Henrik to stay still, wanting to assest his head, calling for more help.  
“I'm fine, help my partner, she is pregnant and has cramps. Help her!”  
Henrik protested and wiped off the hand close to this head.  
“You're bleeding.”  
“She is worse, take my daughter and Saga to the hospital, now. I’ll follow with a police car.”  
Lilian waited with Henrik in the ER; Henrik had to accept to be visited by a doctor and have the wound over his eye cleaned and stitched but refused to be taken into the rx room or to be assested for the head until he had news about his women. Lilian showed off her badge, let the name of the hospital administrative director, an old friend, fall into the conversation and silenced the staff.  
“Astrid will be ok, it is not vital.”  
“I know. But it is another blow for her. she believed to be safe with me and now look at what happened. “  
“She is the daughter of a policeman, you will explain her and she will understand. Our families are always on the line. It is Saga who need to be more careful. First Susanne shoot and then now this tension. If she wants the baby she need to rest.”  
“She doesn’t want it, then she said she had to think about again.”  
“And you?”  
“Sure I do, it's ours.”  
“Let's hope she avoid miscarriage. She told me about the idea to give you all rights, and I suggested to think about it a lot.”  
“Thanks Lilian. I wish things were easier with Saga.” 

__________

(PRESENT)

Henrik was still sleeping when Saga woke up around seven, so she decided to let him rest.  
She wore the yellow bathrobe Margarethe had already hooked on the door, near Henrik’s dark blue, and went to the upstairs bathroom, putting in the free shelf over the sink all her few toeletries but the packet of condoms she bought since leaving the hospital, just in case. Unused still. The days were safe and she hadn’t asked Henrik to use them at the cottage; she wondered how Henrik’d react should she pass him the packet.  
Would she do it? Did she wanted to do it? It was something they had to discuss together in a private moment.  
From downstairs, coffee and food flavours already stimulated her appetite.  
After the shower, she joined Margrethe in the kitchen; Henrik’s mom was cutting sliced of dark bread, placing them on a large plate.  
Saga looked at the old styled kitchen furniture, with the fireplace already lighted. An atmosphere of serenity she rarely saw before.  
“Good morning.” She offered.  
“Oh, Saga.”  
Margarethe turned and gestured her to sit at the table.  
“I’ve prepared breakfast, Klaus and Astrid will eat later, is Henrik still asleep?”  
“Yes, I let him rest.”  
“Good, he’s so tired. He need his strength back. Tea of coffee?”  
“Tea.”  
“The pans are on the fire, choose what you want.”  
Saga poured herself some scrambled eggs. The taste was delicious, like the dinner they shared the previous evening. When they had arrived late in the afternoon to the two floor wooden house at the end of the village, close to the pastures, she was a little nervous at the idea to meet his family  
In the end all went well, Henik’s dad was visibly a fragile man, his wife had Henrik’s face, thirty years older.  
They greeted her and shook hands, Margarethe was twisting her apron to keep her hands occupied and avoid to hug or further touch saga.  
At the dinner table the conversation was informal; Astrid wanted Saga to describe her time at the sea.  
She was still with crutches and Henrik took her upstairs in his arms.  
Henrik’s parents had converted Klaus old office on the ground floor in a bedroom so Astrid was sleeping in Henrik’s old room and Henrik in his parents’.  
Saga was not up to the idea to enter in such a private space, but there were no other beds available and she desired to be with him. She lied awake for a long time, looking at Henrik, hearing the sounds of the night from the fields and woods, until long past midnight sleep took her over.  
Now Margarethe was offering her home made strawberries marmalade and bread.  
It was delicious, she had to admit she was hungry after three weeks of her own cooking.  
Now she knew from whom Henrik had learned his kitchen skills and his kindness.  
Margarethe was busy at the fires, her back to Saga, when suddenly she turned around.  
“I know I’ve promised Henrik not to upset you, but I can’t help myself, I have to thank you For everything you did for us.”  
“I just found Astrid.”  
“More, more, you do not know how much more. You see, I not only lost my granddaughters and her mother, I lost my son, too, my only son, for six years.”  
“How it is pos…”  
Saga was curious, she was unaware of the relationship between Henrik and his parents before she met him.  
“You know how he and Alice met, don't you? “  
“Yes, in Copenhagen. He was assigned there for a substitution. They met, soon married and bought the house.”  
“Since Henrik was with Alice he seldom came here. She was a town girl. She did not like this place and our county life. For me, she was stealing my boy. Henrik was always special, I miscarried twice before he was born. I knew he’d be an only child. When they disappeared I thought God was punishing me for my thoughts.”  
“There is not connection between your thought and their disappearance. It was an abduction in the end.”  
“Henrik disappeared too, we saw him three or four times in six years, we had only a phone call every month or so, I was desperate. Klaus too. We could not help him.”  
“Did you never visit him? “  
“He forbid us. Completely. Then Klaus had the stroke. Two years ago Henrik called me twice in a month, he had a new case, a very difficult one, and a new Swedish colleague. He said your name and from that moment he changed. Slowly. More calls, more photos, also of you.”  
“I never noticed he took photos of me.”  
“Oh yes, I saw them. I was so happy you were in his life. When you went into trial he was so upset. I feared he'd disappear again.”  
“He come to prison on Christmas eve and told me he was going to spend the holidays with you.”  
“Yes, he was the greatest gift we could hope. He did everything for your release. He promised us he'd took you here for next Christmas. He did it much earlier. So you see how much I owe you. You saved all of us.”  
“Henrik saved me, two years ago.”  
“I know. When he took Astrid here we spent the first night talking. He cried a lot. I hugged him like he was still my little boy. Anna and the baby you miscarried, he was devastated for both losses.”  
“Did he told you all the truth, that I wanted to give it to Henrik or to abort? My family history is not suitable to raise a child.”  
“He told me everything and the past does not matter now. You're here with us and I want to spoil you like you deserve. Take a slice of cake, I've just baked it.”  
“Mom, stop fussing around us with food.”  
Henrik was at the door, dressed in jeans and a t shirt, his hair humid from the shower.  
“Oh sweetie, go call Astrid and dad so I can fuss all of you with food at the same time.”


	10. Chapter 10

(PAST) 

Astrid woke up late in the evening from surgery and Henrik was at her side, on a wheelchair near the bed, his eyes showed how much he had cried.   
“Water.” She murmured and he offered her a plastic glass.  
“How are you?” Henrik asked.  
“Pain in my leg.”   
“It will pass, I’ll ask the nurse to give you something.”  
“Dad, that man died, didn’t he?”   
“Yes, Saga killed him.”  
“Where is Saga? I saw she was on the floor. Did he shot her too?”   
“No Astrid, Saga is in hospital too, she isn’t well.”  
“I want to see her.”  
“She need to rest now. Like you.”  
“And your head?”   
“I’m fine, just a headache, I’m worried for you.”  
He couldn’t tell her his head hurt like hell, more for his concerns than for the hit he received.   
His girl seemed so little in that white bed, he had her back for less than a week and it was the second time she was in a hospital bed.   
Astrid soon dozed off and Henrik changed room; they wanted to keep him in bed but he was determined to be close to both his women.  
He saw a doctor coming out of Saga’s room and stopped him; Dr. Madsen was written on his badge.  
“How is she?”   
“Are you a relative?”  
“Her partner. The father of the baby.”   
“We’re keeping her in observation, unfortunately after what she endured the pregnancy is at risk. She told me she is police, but being in the line of fire is not good in her conditions.”  
“She saved me and my daughter today. Otherwise we’ll be dead.”  
“I see, next days will be crucial, then we’ll evaluate.”   
Henrik opened the door; Saga was awake, looking at the sunset on the sea picture hanged on the opposite wall, lost in concentration. He called her name and she turned.  
“How is Astrid?”   
“Better, they did surgery and she is resting now. How are you?”   
“I have to wait, they told me it is the only thing to do.”  
“Did you have more cramps?”   
“A little as soon as I was moved here. Then no more. But the percentages are against us.”   
“Yesterday, when you left for work I had called my mother about Astrid. She was so excited and wanted to come here tomorrow . So I called her again a few minutes ago and tell her not to move.”   
“Did you tell her about the shooting?”   
“No, no, it would be too much for her now. I told her we had troubles during a operation.”   
“It isn't the truth.”  
“I know. But she's far from here and Dad is not well. I cannot explain what happened at the phone.”

 

The following morning, when Saga felt something warm and wet between her legs and experienced painful cramps again, she understood it was all over.   
She called the nurse and asked her to advise Henrik, then remained silent when she was taken in an examination room, an ultrasound and an examination confirmed the miscarriage and the doctor sedated her to perform a curettage.   
When she woke Henrik was at her bedside, but the room was different: the window was in another position and there was a curtain on her right.  
“I’m sorry.” She murmured.  
“It is not your fault, dr. Madsen explained me that first the blood you lost in prison, then the shoots in your vest, the impact of the fall and the stress of Kevin were too much for the baby.”  
“I was immobile all night long.”  
“Saga, I’ve searched on internet, nearly a pregnancy on three ends up in early miscarriage. Especially women of your age group. It happens.”  
“When I had it I didn’t wanted it ….”  
“We’ll talk about it later, there is somebody who wants to say hallo.”  
He moved the curtain and revealed Astrid's bed.  
“I asked to have you together, so I can see you both at the same time.”  
“How are you?” Saga asked Astrid.  
“My leg hurts a little. And you?”   
Saga turned to Henrik for a clue about what to answer.  
“I told Astrid the truth. We've lost our child. She deserves to know. No more secrets between us.”  
“I‘m happy dad has you.“ Astrid stated in danish, “so he’s not alone. And thanks for saving me. Twice.”  
“Are you speaking Danish now? “  
“Yes, since we returned from Anna grave., Dad is happy.”   
Henrik had to leave during the doctors’ morning round; shortly after a nurse entered with two food trays. Astrid accepted hers and started eating, Saga looked with repulsion to the mash and white cheese.   
“Aren’t you hungry?”  
“It’s not food!”  
“It’s better than what I was used to eat. Frank was an horrible cook.”  
“Henrik is great. He spoiled me.”  
“He wasn’t always like that before.”  
A look of deep sadness over the girl’s face. Saga wanted to comfort her a little, but it was so new for her, she had to turn back to her youth to remember what she used to tell Jennifer to help her.   
“Henrik’s a different man now.”  
“I don’t know, I was told so many times he was dead so I never imagined to see him again.”  
Astrid was curious to learn about her father, things she was afraid to ask directly, that Saga could maybe answer.   
“How you and dad met?”  
“We worked on a case.”  
“And when you get together?”  
“We became intimate quite soon, around the time your mother was found dead.”  
Astrid closed her eyes; another bad choice of words. Saga tried to rectify.  
“Henrik missed all of you. He cried a lot for Alice.”  
“And the baby?”  
“It was unplanned. Henrik wanted it because he thought he'd lost you. I had to close your case, I was in a dead end.”  
“Did you want it? Do you have other children?”  
Saga looked at the girl, her pale face, her long fingers on the white sheet,, so thin and apparently so fragile.  
Saga was sure Astrid was stronger than she appeared, than Henrik believed, than Jennifer had been.   
She was a survivor. Like Henrik. Like herself.  
It wasn't the moment for the complete truth; Saga recalled Martin's lessons.  
“It was my first pregnancy. I was worried but Henrik promised to help me.”  
“He was a good dad when he was at home. The other dad was more present. But he tried to kill me., like that man. Dad offered to be killed instead of me.”  
“Because he loves you.”  
“He said so.”  
“It is true.”  
“I don't know where is the truth. Frank lied to me about mom and dad. Everybody lies to me. Dad said you were a guest and you're his woman.”  
Saga saw the anguish on the girl’s face, who wanted to cry and couldn’t. Something shifted inside Saga, a new door opened in her mind and it was not in her brain, lower, in her heart.   
“Henrik planned to explain everything in due time. He kept the baby a secret so you'd not feel in competition. Now you're the only one.”  
“I'm sorry for your baby. I miss Anna a lot. I miss my family.”

(PRESENT) 

Astrid asked Saga to go with her and Margarethe at the village weekly market in Klaus old Volvo, aged more than 15 years. They found a parking place a fey street away from the stands and Astrid pointed at Saga all the places and shops she already knew from her previous visits there. They walked slowly, Astrid still using a crutch to help herself.   
Saga observed Margarethe in her purchases, how she interacted with people, how proud she was when some acquaintances appreciated Astrid.   
Saga remained behind, letting Astrid be the centre of attention. An old lady, that Margarethe introduced as cousin Rachel, blocked them in front of the chemist shop for what seemed an eternity. Astrid briefly touched Saga with her elbow to get her attention and underline how boring the woman was.   
Finally free, they entered the shop, three people already at the counter. A fat lady recognized Margaret and Astrid and scrutinized Saga.  
“Henrik's new wife?” She abruptly asked.  
A cloud passed over Margarethe face.   
“She is Henrik’s colleague and friend.”   
Margarethe soon walked away, prompting Astrid to do the same  
When they were on the street again, Margarethe turned to Saga.  
“I hope I answered the right way, I asked Henrik what to say in situations like this.”  
“Saga is like a wife for dad!”  
Margarethe chastised lightly her granddaughter; her innocence and bravery were so heart warming.   
“Astrid, it is Saga private life, often people see things wrong and are offensive.”   
Saga remained in silence; she was developing a new way to process other people words, to pass and re pass them in her brain to grab the deeper meaning, not only the surface.   
The silence of the sea had been helpful to recollect some dialogues relevant in her life, but here in the real world she felt more exposed and with less ability to interact with people. She remembered a quote, from a school poem.  
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet.   
So her old self would have remarked immediately that she was not married to Henrik, point.  
The new Saga opened up her mind, trying to forget the fat woman and concentrating on those closer to her.   
“It is not so important, Astrid.” 

 

 

Margarethe baked cakes when she was nervous. A way to deal with stress, she always told Klaus when he smelled sweet flavours from the oven.   
Astrid and Henrik were her great worries; Astrid was so thin Margaret was afraid she could break in pieces, like a precious vase.   
Henrik was stronger, Margarethe had to admit how different he was since he returned with Saga.   
The looks he gave to his girl and Saga, how he liked to sit in front of the fireplace on the large couch with them both, the afternoons they spent together wandering by car around the countryside.   
Astrid was happy to have her father around, her mood could swift often during the day but Henrik continued to repeat the traumas were still vivid in her mind.   
Saga was difficult to define for Margarethe. Henrik was clearly in love with her but she seemed distant too often.   
The previous evening Margaret had gone upstairs with a hot chocolate for Astrid and heard sounds and moans of pleasure from the master bedroom. She was glad her son had a woman, she hoped he’d formed a new family, too.  
Her reflections were interrupted by Astrid asking a few biscuits and opening the closet to grab meat snacks for the dogs.   
The field behind the house were Astrid favourite spot to play with the family dogs, two black labrador aged 7, named Thunder and Tempest from the last litter Klaus' Queenie had; his last litter in dog breeding.  
Queenie was now living with their niece in a golden retirement but her offspring were still Klaus pride and had took part in various canine expositions with their owners.   
Astrid threw little branches to the dogs and they report, they could spend hours playing that game, and then lie on he porch exhausted.  
They had become her body guards, always searching her company. Margarethe said because they never had children to play with, only two old people like her and Klaus.  
Astrid throw them a tennis ball that went too close to the woods on the right of the field, the dogs run into the first hedgerows; Astrid called them back, she still used a crutch and did not want them to go too far.  
Her voice was covered by two shot. Then human voices into the woods, various dogs barking.   
Astrid was afraid, only Tempest was back and she called Henrik to come immediately. She moved toward the house but the crutch got a mole hole and she fell, her ankle twisting in the process.   
Saga was the first to hear Astrid from the front porch; she called Henrik and Margarethe and ran to Astrid as fast as she could. 

When Saga reached Astrid she was in pain and Saga tried to lift her up.  
“No, no Thunder, we must find him.”   
Astrid fighted against Saga, wanting to find her pet.  
Henrik joined them, Astrid pointed at the meadow where the dogs had entered a few minutes before.   
“Dad, I hard a shot!”  
“Hunters.” Saga explained. “Be careful.” She suggested Henrik when he headed for the woods. .   
“Saga stay here, with Astrid, I’ll go find him.”  
Henrik left the field for the semi darkness of the trees and heard laments, he fund easily the dog with the help of Tempest who lead him to his brother.  
There was lots of blood on the front right paw and Thunder was in visible pain, Henrik lifted him up, the weight difficult on his wounded leg and walked toward the house.  
They seemed a strange procession, Saga supporting Astrid who was leaning on her and Henrik with Thunder in his arms.  
Astrid did not want to leave Saga when they entered in the living room, she remained grabbed to Saga’s arm when Margarethe made her sat on the couch; Henrik placed the dog in his car and left for the village, assuring he’d be back as soon as the veterinarian would admit the dog. .  
Saga took off the girl’s shoe and sock, examining Astrid leg. .  
“It is a sprained ankle.” She stated. “nothing seems broken”  
“We can go to our doctor..” Margarethe proposed,” or do you suggest the ER for a scan? “  
“I want to see Thunder first, he’s bleeding.” Astrid pleaded.   
“Henrik is at the veterinarian with him.”  
“I want to see him. Saga, please.”   
Saga looked at Margarethe over Astrid's shoulder, whispering she’ll do what Astrid wanted and Margarethe nodded.  
“Astrid I' ll drive you and Margarethe to the veterinarian and then we’ll go to the doctor for you.”


	11. Chapter 11

(PAST)

Henrik was trying to soothe Saga’s fever; Dr Madsen explained him that kind of reaction was quite common and there was nothing to worry about, but Henrik never saw her in such a mess. The fever started a few hours after the miscarriage and lasted during the following day.  
Her forehead was burning and she was trembling, he tried to comfort her, caressing her arm and her face.  
He revelled in the pleasure to touch her body, something that always made his heart beat faster.  
She turned pulling her hospital vest and another button gave way. Her skin, pale in the dim light, the swelling of her breasts, the valley between them. Such dangerous thoughts for henrik in a moment of illness, but saga was so prude he had to grab all the occasions to see her partly undressed. Sex and intimacy weren’t connected for Saga, sometimes Henrik’d desired after sex to just cuddie naked and looking at each other, like he used with Alice only, but her rules were too strong. And he always complied.  
Better forget for now, later maybe,  
It was late evening and Astrid took a pill to rest; the room was silent..  
Henrik hated to see Saga suffering; like in prison, he wanted to take her place, to ease her ordeal. She seemed so small in the hospital bed, the doctor told him she had to fight the infection, and Henrik was determined to make her heal soon.  
“I'm here”, he repeated, over and over, “I’m here for you.”  
At first she didn’t speak, then came the words that scared him.  
“Dad, where are you? I want my dad..”  
He looked at the other bed, was Astrid awake and calling him? No, she was sleeping peacefully, hugging one of her stuffed animals.  
Saga. A tiny voice, like she was a little child, the same voice Astrid used asking him to have a teddy bear from home.  
“Saga, I’m here.” Henrik answered, unsure if she’d recognized him.  
“Dad are you? I feel so bad. My throat hurts.”  
“Dad is here. he’ll never leave you.”  
Henrik did not know what to say, it was Saga’s past coming to light, she always talked about her mother only, her father was omitted every time he tried to ask something about him,  
“Mom hurt me. Dad, promise me you’ll keep her away.”  
“Sure, saga, what did mom do?”  
“She touched the wound and it hurt so much.”  
Her hand went on her throat.  
Henrik imagined Saga was referring to the tonsils, did that evil woman dared so much?  
He lied on the bed and took Saga in his arms, not caring about rules or nurses, he had to be close to her.  
She hugged him, he know it was not him, it was her dad she was dreaming of, but it had to be enough, he was there for her. He saw her tears and let his own flow.  
“Nobody will hurt you, I’m here, dad is here. Now I want you to sleep and tomorrow everything will be better.” How many times he had told the same words to his own daughters and how bad their life had become.  
She relaxed in his arms, and a blissful sleep took her over.  
He remained awake, looking at her.  
In the morning, fever was diminishing. 

 

(PRESENT)

 

Saga sat at the kitchen table with a plate of ham an cheese. Margarethe was cleaning the oven from the remains of two burned cakes.  
“How could I forget the oven.”, Margarethe lamented,.  
“The smell was strong when we left and I noticed it.”  
“Thanks. I was lost when I saw Astrid and Thunder.”  
“I saw Astrid worse.”  
“You managed well. You talked with her , she listened to you and her fears went away.”  
“I simply explained things, she is intelligent.”  
“She’s still a little girl. She suffered too much.”  
Margarethe was conflicted between Henrik recommendations and her desire to understand Saga better.  
This woman had never touched Astrid before the dog wound and barely touched Henrik in front of people.  
“Saga, I'm sure you care about my son, but Astrid? She needs a mother, somebody to talk and love and be loved. You said you don’t want children, so? Will Astrid remain an only child? Do you really want to deprive Henrik of a family?”  
Saga looked at Margarethe for a long time, without speaking.  
Too much was raging inside her, she was unable to define her inner turmoil so she got up and left the room.  
When The Porsche roared and the lights disappeared in the late afternoon darkness. Margarethe realised her mistake: she ran to Henrik who was watching tv with Astrid; he followed her and she reported the conversation with Saga. Anger contorted his face.  
“What did you do? Where is Saga?”  
“She took her car and ran off. Henrik, I had to ask, she cares about you but she’ll never be a mother for Astrid!”  
“It isn’t true.”  
“You don’t see the situation.”  
“She’ll learn with Astrid and I need her and if she give me only a half or a quarter of what any other woman would, it‘d be more than enough for me.”  
“Because you’ll make it enough? You cannot be satisfied so easily…”  
“Because for me it is more than the full of others. She made Astrid born again for me, she gave me hope, I was lost before her … I have to find her. Look after Astrid, I go”.  
Henrik felt around him the coldness of the evening, the same fear of two years before, when he drove across the bridge in his desperate search. This time he had no clues, they were in the middle of the countryside and she did not have any place to go. He tried on he phone, insisting countless times.  
He’d never let her go this time, to hell everybody. Astrid and Saga were the only people that mattered to him and he was determined to have them both.  
Then Saga answered. The relief to hear her voice made Henrik loose control for a moment of the car; he stopped with the four lights on.  
“What do you want?”  
“You.”  
“Let me go, I’m not the one you need.”  
“You’re the one and we need each other. Where are you?”  
“Going back to the sea.”  
“Stop. I’ll get to you. Please, Saga, stop!”  
The desperation in his plea made Saga do as he asked, because she had nowhere to go. Lilian place was closed and she would not call Louise or Alex, plus, she had promised Alex not to let Henrik go.  
So she told Henrik the village she was crossing and where she parked her car.  
He soon arrived, in the darkness she saw his lights fast approaching and the Peugeot stopped near the Porsche.  
He opened the door and sat on the passenger seat.  
“My mother told me everything.”  
“Your mother thinks I cannot take care of Astrid and you need a new family.”  
“Her idea, not mine. You already took care of my daughter in the best possible way. Astrid told me today you listened to her fears about Thunder and she want you to help her in nursing him.”  
“I’ll never be like your mother or Alice.”  
“I'll never ask you so. Time only will tell how we’ll be. Believe me, we need you, and you’ll decide how you can live with us. After all we endured together, we can overcome everything.”  
“I think we did well with our ghosts .. and you know I want you, too.”  
“I’ve planned to stay until the christening of my cousin's child but if you want we’ll leave tomorrow with Astrid, nothing else matters.”  
“Astrid will be sad to leave soon.”  
“She can return in summer, the grannies will not run away.”  
“They're not young and your dad deserve to be with her. We can stay a few days and I can return home before you if things get bad again with your mother.”

 

As soon as Henrik and Saga returned Margarethe had offered Saga her excuses . The two women spent the evening in the kitchen, door closed, both refusing later to tell Henrik the object of their talk.  
Klaus, Astrid and Henrik watched tv in the living room, wondering who’d left alive the kitchen, making bets.  
Henrik at first wanted to interrupt them with an excuse, but his father told him to be quiet.  
Women, better let them sort out their problems alone, the old man suggested.  
When Astrid left for the night Klaus explained Henrik how nervous she had been while they were away.  
“She was afraid, she paced the house looking for you. Where are dad and Saga she repeated over and over.”  
“I'm sorry dad, I had to get Saga back.”  
“I know son, I tried to keep her busy with the dogs and the photo albums but she become quite violent, throwing them on the floor.”  
She has a strange personality. That man, Frank, he's ruined her.  
Klaus lifted his hand to stop his son.  
"Never speak that name again." "I cannot make him disappear simply ignoring him. He got her for 8 years, more than me. And it was my fault."  
"You're not the first man with marriage troubles, not the last. Alice trusted that man more than you."  
"If I had spent more time at home she'd not needed him."  
“Maybe. But if he met her at work and got obsessed with her, don't you think something bad would happened somehow?”  
“I don't know. I need help. Dad, I never told Mom, but I was dependant on pills after I lost my family. When Alice body was found I overdosed and Saga saved me. Since then I'm off, but only for her and the NA meetings.”  
Klaus lowered his gaze, his son’s face showed such pain Klaus could not confront or comfort Henrik in that moment. He simply breathed, to steady himself and not to judge Henrik.  
“Go find help, if you need it. Remember, what is important now? Your work or your family? You have another chance, don't destroy it ...but don't think or worry too much. Accept what life offers you now. I like Saga a lot. She's good for you and Astrid.”  
“Mom has different ideas.”  
“Your mother is a good woman, a little too traditional. I bet she is already planning a wedding.”  
“Dad, no, it has no sense!”  
“Don't worry, I'll speak with her. Beside, marriage is no more necessary for a family. Things have changed since I married your mother.”  
“Thanks, Saga is different from the other women. It will be hard, but we must find our own way.”


	12. Chapter 12

(PAST) 

 

Dr Madsen visited Saga before releasing her from hospital; she was healing well with no complications, and she could conceive again. The doctor told Saga to reserve a visit after she got a normal period if she planned to return to birth control, for the time being she and her partner could revert to condoms.  
The idea to share with Henrik the responsibility of protection was completely new. She’d always be the one in control of it and now she wasn’t alone. The failure of the cc made her think about the idea to use it again. No protection was 100% safe, except abstinence or a definitive surgery, both options she refused.  
She would think about that problem later.  
Now she wanted only time for herself, a place to rest, she was tired and so had gratefully accepted Lilian’s offer to use her summerhouse on the western coast.  
Astrid greeted Saga, asking for texts and sea photos, before leaving for her meeting with the hospital psychologist.  
The two room mates went along quite well during the days spent together, Henrik found them talking whenever he entered the room and he noticed they were sharing some private jokes.  
The saddest moment was when Saga told Astrid about her own sister.  
It wasn’t painful as before, after Saga discovered the truth about Jennifer’s continuous illness, but still it hurt.  
“So we both lost our little sister.”  
“We did. Mine, she killed herself around your age.”  
“Mine didn’t want to die.”  
“I know. I freed Jennifer from my parents, but it was too late.”  
“Were they bad people?”  
“Yes. Dangerous and cruel. My mother made her ill by purpose”  
“How is is possible?”  
“It’s a syndrome, Astrid, diagnosed and studied.”  
“So your mother was ill, wasn’t she?”  
“Yes, she killed herself pretending it was a homicide.”  
“Dad told me something, you were in prison for a year.”  
“He fond the proof to help me.”  
“If you and dad had arrived earlier, Anna will be still alive.”  
Guilt. Failure. Betrayals.  
Saga was free from her guilt about Jennifer, she didn’t want Henrik to have the burden of another one; he didn’t deserve so.  
“We did our best and more. Henrik did whatever he could to find you until we met. Then we started again, never giving up.”

Henrik thanked Saga for her support with Astrid but he was nervous about the outcome of Astrid's teraphy.  
“It will do her good.” Saga pointed out. “Like mine.”  
“Yes, I wonder if it is too soon. I need to find the right doctor for her, it will not be easy.”  
”The sooner the better, and you could consider it too. My therapist says it is a long process and you cannot hurry it, it takes month or years to complete.”  
“I know. I've planned to take her away to my parents in a few days after she’s released from here. I want her to heal her leg first.”  
The nurse entered to control if Saga was leaving so Henrik lead Saga to the taxi area outside the hospital entrance.  
They faced each other, he was visibly sad to let her go.  
“Promise you will call me when you arrive.”  
“I promise.”  
“Are sure you want to be alone?”  
“I need to think. I'm worn out and the sea will do me good. You have to take care of Astrid and she’s still in hospital.”  
It was so strange to hear Saga speaking about tiredness, but something in her face told Henrik it was the truth, she was really drained of all her strength.  
“I'll miss you.”  
“I’ll stay in touch.”  
“Whatever happens call me, my parents are just a two hours drive from the sea.”  
The taxi man took her bag and opened the back door.  
Saga went on tiptoes to be at Henrik's height, looked at him then suddenly kissed him on the lips. Just a short kiss, a few seconds and she turned to get into the taxi, never looking back, leaving a stunned Henrik alone on the sidewalk. 

(PRESENT) 

Saga and Astrid headed to the veterinarian with Thunder, he needed a new medication.  
Astrid was very careful in listening all the suggestions the old veterinarian gave them.  
“I’ve seen Thunder and Tempest as puppies. A litter of six, your grandfather decided to keep two for company.”  
The old man looked at Astrid. He and Klaus were old friends and he remembered what happened eight years ago. Two puppies, for the granddaughters he had lost.  
“I’ve seen all the photos. Grandpa had lots of dogs.”  
“Do you like dogs?”  
“A lot. Dad promised me I’ll have my own dog soon.”  
“Yes, but you’ll have to be responsible, not dump it on dad or mum.”  
He looked meaningfully at Saga, who didn’t react at the hint at motherhood.  
“She’s an intelligent girl, she’ll take care of her pet.”  
“But you’ll help me, wont’ you? I’m afraid to miss if my dog would be unwell or something like that!”  
Saga nodded.  
“We’ll buy books about dogs and we’ll have it checked periodically.”  
“Great” the veterinarian stated.” Now you can take Thunder home, tell Klaus I’ll pass next week to see him.”  
Back home, Saga and Astrid found Henrik on the couch, his injured leg up on a chair because he felt the muscles sore from the strain to lift Thunder and for the night ride. Astrid sat close to her father and reported about the visit.  
Tempest tried to jump on the couch to stay with Astrid and Henrik winced when the dog put two paws on his leg.  
“What’s wrong with your leg?”  
“it hurts a little, I’ve used it too much yesterday.”  
“Do you want a rub?” Margarethe offered her son.  
“It could be a good idea.”  
“I'll get a ointment and something else to wear from your old clothes.”  
She returned with a pair of worn out shorts; Henrik changed into them and Margarethe told him to lie on the couch with a towel under his leg.  
Saga moved her head between them, listening to their exchange.  
Henrik needed help, he wasn’t’ feeling well. She was there. She could help him.  
Henrik’s mother was opening the oily cream when Saga stopped her.  
“I'll do it.”  
Margarethe saw her determination and handed her the tube.  
“Yes, sure, take care of him. Astrid come with me, we’ll feed the dogs.”  
“Are you sure?” Henrik questioned when alone.  
“Do you think I’m not able?”  
“No, it’s just…”  
“You need a massage and I’m here, what else?”  
Henrik leaned further on the couch, smiling  
“I’m at your disposal.”  
Saga poured some cream on her hands and took Henrik's ankle, who reacted at the cold sensation.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, it’s cold.”  
Saga started rubbing his calf, slowly, touching every inch of his skin,.  
She‘d never give a rub before, Henrik was sure, so happy to be the first; it was a matter of trust and he was determined to win her resistances.  
Saga reached the knee, bending it a little, moving slowly her hands under the articulation, where the skin was so soft.  
Margarethe walked along the corridor to get Klaus his medicine and stopped briefly at the scene by the open door; her gaze met her son’s and she nodded in approval.  
Saga did not heard her steps, too concentrated in what she was offering.  
She felt him relax, little by little, the touch was healing and she observed him, features serene, eyes half closed, hands on his chest, the left flat, not the nervous half fist he used to do so often.  
She continued up to the bullet scar.  
The wound was still visible, he had scratched the little crust more than once.  
She avoided that spot, avoided the memories that spot fueled, felt the tight was contracted and rigid.  
“Am I pressing too much?”  
Henrik shook his head.  
“Go on.”  
He slowly felt the pain subsiding, it was not the quality of rubbing, it was Saga doing it. Touching him on her free will, in presence of others, not alone at night and just for sex.

 

That night Henrik had difficulties to sleep.  
The rub relaxed his body, but his mind was confused.  
The dialogue with his father the previous evening had stirred memories. So many years had passed since their previous confrontations.  
Their father son relationship sometimes had been strained, especially when Klaus lost his business and Henrik married Alice. Henrik was glad the long illness had not broke his dad’s spirit. They could talk about everything now, also Astrid book of costumes, he was sure.  
Henrik was restless in bed and Saga woke up, feeling the mattress move often.  
“What bothers you?”  
“I was thinking about my father. We talked a lot.”  
Saga listened in silence when Henrik briefly reported the conversation. .  
“I whish my dad had talked with me like yours.”  
“In hospital, the night you were feverish you called for your father.”  
“What did I say?”  
“That you wanted him. I told you he was there and I hugged you.”  
“Strange dream I had.”  
“You clang to me or him or whatever you wanted me to be.”  
“I remember you were there, the morning when I open my eyes you were at my side.”  
“You were dreaming about a surgery you had as a kid and he was with you.”  
“But it was you?”  
“Yes, I played his part for you.”  
“He had his work and was often away, he was helpless against my mother She behaved better when he was around, after he turned his back she started hurting us.”  
“Do you think he loved you and Jennifer?”  
“Maybe, but not enough. when I was older I told him about Jennifer’s problems, he did not believe me.”  
“How could he react in that way?”  
“I do not know, my mother was so manipulative, a mind controller. He was weak.”  
Henrik looked outside the window and considered Frank, how he controlled Anna and Astrid mind for such a long time.  
Saga saw he was miles away.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
“Frank.”  
“Mind controller?”  
“Yes. I saw him in prison. I had to win the hate and repulsion I felt for him.”  
“Astrid now has only you.”  
“I lost eight years. I had a little girl now I have a woman.”  
“You'll always be her dad.”


	13. Chapter 13

As usual, no copryght infringements.

(PRESENT) 

Margarethe and Saga were going better after having cleared up their positions.  
Henrik doubted the settlement was definitive, for the moment the enjoyed a few days of domestic peace.  
Astrid, happy with her family around, was his most treasured hope. He promised her to go to a shelter once back home, so she could have her own pet.  
He knew Astrid had to come to terms with her past in the village and he was delaying it, being away from home. But first he wanted her to full recover physically.  
He had planned to return to Copenhagen in two days, although lovely the atmosphere at his old house could be.  
Back home there were decisions about his work, a family to build anew and uncertainty about choices to make. Saga had decided to stay for a while, her restlessness was still present, maybe in a while she planned again to have also her own space, Henrik repeated to himself again and again that she had always lived alone, free to do what she wanted, so he could not impose his lifestyle to Saga.  
He had been away form his childhood memories for so long that had to make peace with them, with his family and with his ghosts, too. 

 

The day before the christening Saga asked Henrik a strange question.  
“Is it a formal social event?”  
“What do you mean?”  
He was still in bed, half sleeping, while she was already up on the pillows reading a book.  
“What will you and Astrid wear tomorrow?”  
He looked at her, soon he was full awake and understood the real meaning of her request.  
Clothes for a special occasion.  
It was so difficult for Saga to manage the basic social rules of everyday life.  
“It is not so formal. I’ll use one of my suits, the one I wear in mild weather. Astrid told my mother she wants blue trousers and a pink shirt, she didn’t want to show her scar. My mother sewed a silk shirt for her last week. “  
“I cannot wear my everyday things.”  
“Do you want us to go shopping this morning? Something basic, not too strange. Black trousers and a matching top, what do you think?”  
“I’ve never shopped before. “  
“I can help you, if you let me.”  
An hour later, they entered with Astrid in a chain department store.  
Saga was soon confused by the amount of items on display, she was sure it would be so hard to find something suitable. She'd prefer to shop for somebody else than for herself.  
Henrik started looking at the various trousers on the racks, a young female clerk approached him.  
“Can I help you?”  
“We’re looking for plain black trousers, for my partner.”  
He pointed at Saga; she was with Astrid, who was rummaging between the dresses.  
“Size 36?”  
“I think so.”  
The clerk swiftly offered Saga four different options, leading her to the fitting room.  
Saga asked Astrid to follow her. She feared the confusion to have to choose between four possibilities.  
Henrik wanted to find a matching top, simply but beautiful, his purpose was to make Saga feel at ease with her new clothes.  
It was a step in a new direction for her and he had to pick out the perfect item.  
Here it was, a white twin set, sleeveless tank top with round neck, long sleeves matching jacket, all made of a soft fabric that could perfectly follow the contour of her chest.  
Classy but elegant, no buttons, no pearls, nothing strange, it was perfect.,  
Saga was trying her second pair of trousers, too small for her shape.  
“Astid, give me next. These are not my taste. “  
“The first seemed ok.”  
“I want to try all, then I’ll see.”  
She stepped into the third pair and felt immediately they were the right ones.  
Good fabric, following perfectly her body, making her legs thinner.  
“Black is always the best , and this trousers are made for you.” Astrid stated.  
“Your daughter is right, black goes with everything.”  
Once again someone was implying Astrid was her child. Saga wondered if there was such a resemblance between them to be addressed as her mother.  
She felt the usual words on her tongue, she’s not, because the new situation she was experiencing was awakening her old patterns of behaviour.  
Then she looked at Astrid, busy in turning inside out her discarded trousers, glad to be of use, happy to go around with Henrik and Saga.  
Her reflection in the mirror of the changing room was asking for attention, suggesting to think carefully how much that girl meant to her, now.  
“Astrid is right, I choose these. They do fit me.”  
Henrik approached and saw Saga has found the right thing, her long legs perfectly shaped by the garment.  
“Try this, I think it is good for you.”  
He offered Saga the twin set.  
She took it in her hands and examined the price tag; more than she imagined.  
“It is expensive.”  
“I’ll buy it for you, if you like it. I do want to give you a gift. Please.”  
She wanted to refuse, a gift means reciprocating, means involvement and commitments, then she saw his face, how happy he was to do something for her.  
His taste was a guarantee, the twin set was an excellent choice and so she let him add to the shopping list a pair of black low heel shoes to match the trousers.  
They returned to the car with their purchases, including a new jumper for Astrid, and Henrik suggested them to wait for him with a cup of coffee while he completed a personal purchase. 

 

The day of the christening Henrik was chatting with his cousins and some old friends, controlling the entrance of the church hall.  
His cousin Linda asked him why he was so distracted and he babbled a response about Astrid, who was outside in the garden with the youngest.  
When the large entrance door opened, letting Saga an Margarethe enter, Henrik excused himself and moved to greet them.  
“You’re here! They’re going to start.”  
“I had to see the effect of the painkiller.” Margarethe explained, touching her puffy cheek.  
“Better for her not to drive with toothache. We took my car.” Saga proudly announced.  
She was dressed in her brand new clothes and she was smiling at him, the best gift he could ever hope. She had done something to her hair, washing and brushing them in a different way.  
“What a roller coaster! Maybe Astrid likes that car but for my old back it is too much!”  
“You asked me to go faster.”  
“I wanted to try.”  
“You’re not old, mom, you’re curious.” Henrik smiled, he knew so well Saga’s driving style and imagined the effect on his mother. .  
“Aunt Margarethe!”  
Linda and her sister approached, hugging and kissing their aunt.  
“Saga, my nieces. Linda and Pernille, the good mother of baby Mads. This is Saga, Henrik’s partner.”  
Margarethe proudly introduced her to the young women.  
Saga shook hands and noticed the curious looks, from her face to her shoes.  
For the first time, she felt she was dressed like the occasion required, and that it wasn't so difficult to accept. Especially if her reward was the light in Henrik’s eyes.  
“Let’s meet the parents of Mads and the other relatives, would you Saga?”  
Margarethe lightly touched Saga’s arm and smiled, Saga accepted the offer and they moved toward the guests. Henrik followed them, proud his was the most beautiful women in the church..


	14. Chapter 14

(PRESENT) 

In the evening the house was quiet. A light under Astrid’s bedroom door revealed she was still texting, probably with the new friends she met at the church, young relatives or children of Henrik's old acquaintances.  
Henrik hoped she'd develop new friendships also at home. Her sensitive and artistic side could assure her lots of delusions. She had been so alone at the village that he was afraid she'd missed the social skills children start forming at a younger age.  
He had the example of Saga and could imagine the problems she had to face, he hoped his daughter could cope better with the twists and turns life had in store for her.  
What was important was to give her support.   
The hospital doctors suggested a special school, but Henrik was more partial to Saga's idea, a normal school with a special teacher just for Astrid.   
Saga returned from a shower and found Henrik in bed reading the local newspaper, popped up on the pillows.   
“I’ve eaten too much today.” He stated when she changed for the night and hooked her bathrobe.  
“Cakes were very good.”  
“Indeed. Astrid liked the chocolate one so much I promised her to buy one before leaving. Anderson was a plain bakery when I was young but his son took over the business and it‘s completely different now. How many things changed since I was a kid.”  
“For better or worse?”   
“Both. And I’ve changed, too. I was talking with my cousins and they seemed strangers to me.”   
“You had been away for a long time.”  
“I did a big injustice toward my parents. I asked them forgiveness, but it is not enough. I cut them off my life.”   
“You still have them. They love you.”  
“I know. I’ll try to compensate somehow. I’ll visit them more often.”  
“It’s good to be here.”   
“Do you like it?”   
“Yes. Your mother today was kind. She said she wanted me at ease with everybody.”  
“Dad must have done his famous speech on her. My relatives were surprised to see a woman with me.”  
“Your uncle told me he never met Alice.”   
“Probably, she was seldom here and we married privately, not a big wedding.”   
“Was Astrid already on the way?”   
“No, but she arrived too soon. We went to Greece for the honeymoon and she was conceived there. I find myself married and father and didn’t understand how important it was. My career was first. So I drifted away and in the end Alice…”  
“Accepted Frank’s suggestion.”  
“Yes. I loved Alice, but not enough. It was my fault and I paid the price. But Alice and Anna paid the worst and I’ll never forget it.”  
“Her friend told me she loved you. But it was in the past. You need to go on. We both had faults and look at us here now.”  
She gestured the cosy room, the evening light from the window, the familiarity they were sharing.  
“Well, on a lighter note, I never slept here with a woman before. Alice never stayed the night. You’re the first.”  
“Your mother is happy we have sex.”  
“Did she tell you so?”   
“Yes, she heard us.”  
Henrik blushed a little.   
“You and her are really gong well to discuss private matters.”  
“Some matters are strictly private, I’m learning that.”  
“We need to be more….careful.”  
Henrik throw the newspapers on the floor and lean on Saga to kiss lightly her neck.  
She closed her eyes. He was always so considerate, so that she’d reject him.  
His kisses trailed along her chin to stop on her lips where she joined him. Soon they slide down the bed and Saga let him work between her legs for a while. Then she opened the drawer of the night stand and showed Henrik the condoms.   
“Dr Madsen suggested to use them.”   
He froze. His eyes moved from Saga to the packet in her hand.  
“But I haven’t….I thought you were using copper coil again or were on the pill.”  
“It’s too early for that kind of birth control. I have to decide after a full period.”  
“You mean we had sex without protection?”   
“Two times. At the cottage and here. Safe days. I always knew when my body ovulate.”  
“Oh my God!”   
Henrik rolled on his back looking at the ceiling.   
“Is it my mother’s theory about a family for Astrid? Saga, forget her idea! Was she at it again after the christening today? She cannot order a grandchild like at the market.”   
“She didn't say anything about grandkids. Protection is a decision partners take together.”   
Henrik could not hide his happiness at the word partners, nor his fear to take again that risk.   
“It’s the woman’s choice that prevails.”  
“I’ve read essays about relationships to understand these things.”   
He imagined she was ready to quote some relevant parts she marked in those books, so he briefly touched her hand, hoping for eye contact.   
“It’s our life, the answer is here, not in a book. I love you and I’ll respect your decision.”   
“I need time, it is an important choice. Like where to live. If things will settle with you and … I struggle with choices. I think I do the right thing and it comes out as the wrong one.”   
The woman she once was would have no hesitation, the new Saga was trying to cope with a whole new life. And it felt good to have and develop a real family.   
Henrik was silent, but the way he tenderly took her hand between his gave Saga strength.   
“Astrid in a few years will go to university and begin her working life. You’ll have the empty nest again.”  
Henrik was curious about where this conversation was going, sure Saga had thought a lot.   
“I know, I try not to think about it for now, it makes the missing years too painful.”   
“There are other children to help, like you tried with Ida and Julia. So the choices are more than one. I’m not getting younger, maybe…”  
“Just promise we’ll discuss together.”   
“Yes we will.”  
She was right, he had to admit. Astrid will always be his daughter but the years spent apart would never be forgotten.  
And he could imagine himself and Saga in a few years, with someone else to take care of, not important if theirs by blood or by love.   
“Are you continuing what you were doing or not?”   
Saga’s hand trailed down his chest to grab her target, getting the desired effect; Henrik rolled her on her back and they soon forgot everything else. 

 

The day before heading back to Copenhagen Henrik proposed a a pic nic on the lake he was used to go swimming as a young boy.  
They took the dogs and after lunch Astrid went on the small shore to play with them.  
Henrik lied on the blanket, enjoying the April sun. Saga sat legs crossed, observing the place and the children fishing from the old wooden pier. .   
“It is my first pic nic.” She suddenly stated, turning to Henrik .   
“Do you like it?”  
“Yes, if only for the ants under my trousers.”  
“It's county life.”  
“I lived in the county but we never ate on a blanket on the grass.”  
“First time for a lot of things today. Astrid, come here, please.”  
When his daughter sat on the blanket with a dog on each side, Henrik took two small boxes from his coat pockets.  
He gave Astrid the pink one and Saga the green one.  
“What's that ?” Saga asked.  
“Open them, it's a gift. I bought it when we went shopping together.”   
Inside each box a small necklace, the shape of a dog for Astrid and of a steering wheel for Saga.  
“Dad! It is so beautiful.”  
“You’ll engrave your dog's name on it.”  
Astrid kissed his cheek.  
Saga was examining her necklace, never she received such a gift.  
On every spoke of the wheel a piece of the plate of her car.   
“It's my car.”  
“Yes.”  
“I never had a necklace before.”  
“Your first. Can you try it?”  
Astrid had already wore hers, Saga offered her neck to lock the chain. Then she was suspicious and squared Henrik.  
“You're not for a ring next, are you?”  
“I promise. No rings, no diamonds. Maybe a watch?”  
Saga bowed her head a little, her usual way.  
“Good idea.”

 

The return to Copenhagen was tinted with a hint of sadness for the grandparents who would remained alone.  
Astrid asked permission to travel in Saga's car, she loved speed and power of the sportive car.   
Henrik had time to reflect and when he opened the front door he still doubted it was real to have Astrid and Saga behind him, waiting to enter together.   
The stakes were still high, the risks many.   
Astrid's past was still to examine and the future had to build anew.  
Saga has announced her intention to attend university and for the moment to share his house, they had to select a school for Astrid and Henrik had many doubts about his work.   
But all that mattered for him was to have a family again. 

THANKS.


End file.
